we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
