Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
