Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
