It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
