Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize