i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
