Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
