Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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