He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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