I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
