Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
