I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
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Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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