You really coming over, don't trick.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
