you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
