PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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