Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Randomize
