oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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