you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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