Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
