I faked an abortion last night.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
