Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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