In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
