I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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