...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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