if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize