You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
