i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
