just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think I won the penis lottery.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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