just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
