And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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