I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
