Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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