I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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