Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
