If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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