Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
