hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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