i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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