whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i love accidental penises.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There r osticjed everywhere
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
