sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
