Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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