why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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