He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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