Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
