my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize