It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
