I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she told me i tasted like america
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
