Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize