So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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