Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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