There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
