I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
