At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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