i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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