I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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