I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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