don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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