Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
