ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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