I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize